Raiding the Archives

I decided to do a bit of digging into my parents' past. Upon checking with the provincial archives, I discovered two things; divorce records are public domain, and secondly, anyone can order a copy. So I did. I received 123 pages of legal documents (some duplicates, so about 115 unique pages), including a hand-written letter my mother (the narc) wrote, which was entered into the record as an affidavit, and which became the basis of questions in a later deposition.

Nothing in that letter surprised me necessarily; she has harped on about her divorce for more than 50 years.... However, what DID come as completely new information was that it was SHE who brought the divorce action. She has always claimed my father "abandoned" us. Completely false. I also didn't know she had threatened several times both in the letter and the deposition to leave the city with us to prevent our dad from seeing us. This was at odds with the fact she wouldn't acknowledge she was divorced and continued for years to call my dad her husband, even after he had remarried. It was so, so weird. It wasn't "I am divorced, and my former spouse is remarried," it was "My husband is living with another woman, and they don't have a real marriage."

It should be noted here while she was carrying on about my dad and "his women," (the only woman being someone who became my stepmother and was for 33 years), my mother was herself dating someone - she the Sunday school teacher and he the deacon - and this resulted in her falling pregnant and them having to marry very quickly. She will have become pregnant slightly before she got her decree absolute, I believe. I have to revisit the dates in those documents. She's a very skilled hypocrite....

The other revelation, which makes sense of her relationship with me and with my two sibs, is the clarification of our roles to her, and the clarification - like crystal clear - she at no point saw us as humans separate from her, but as the means of expression and means to whatever ends. We were pawns.

She has always scapegoated me, but these documents confirmed she has done so at least since I was seven (when all the custody proceedings were in full swing), and likely before that. I don't have any particular memories but a younger-than-seven-year-old child wouldn't recognize scapegoating or gaslighting.

The hand-written letter and the later deposition are fascinating with respect to scapegoating, though; my mother put words in my mouth: she made claims - numerous times - about what I was saying to her or telling her. For instance, she claimed I told her, and I quote, "Daddy says you're sick, sick, sick in the head and we don't have to listen to you." This. Never. Happened. She makes this statement three times in the deposition as something I allegedly told her, and curiously, it is always in exactly the same format: three "sicks" followed by "in the head, and "we don't have to listen to you." It's weird. She claimed I told her my dad said this to us. I know this is a full lie. Anytime - up to and including when we were married adults with children of our own - we'd ask our dad what went on, his reply was always "It's a long story." He never said anything more than that.

My mother makes several statements about things I supposedly said to her, including that I (specifically me) wish to see less of my dad - absolutely false - and that I (again, specifically me, not my sibling and I) am disturbed by my father's "lovemaking in the front seat of the car and in the pool." This specificity is so, so weird. My dad was a preacher's kid who struggled very much to find a path to remarriage, as he'd been told since birth he'd burn in hell if he committed adultery - and in Baptist world, a marriage after divorce is adultery. The idea he'd engage in "lovemaking" in front of his children is ridiculous. None of what she claims happened, and she contradicts herself several times between the letter and the deposition.

The short form is she has always used me to voice what she will not say herself. Where it concerned my dad and my stepmother, my mother would claim I said terrible things about them, when it was she doing it. She put words in my mouth to my teachers, to a couple pastors, to people we knew. I spent most of my pre-teen and teen years being utterly confused about what was going on, because people would confront me about what I'd "said," when I hadn't said. It took me ages to understand she was lying to everyone. For the record, I haven't seen her in years, but until at least 7 years ago, she still claims I'm somehow wrecking her computer... or her life. It varies.

My next-youngest sibling is mentioned but once by name in the entirety of those documents, and not at all in the hand-written letter. I'm not sure whether this was due to her being invisible to my mother, or because she was the "golden child" so my mother protected her. Predictably, though, as I have anything to do with our mother, the golden child is now the unfortunate recipient of our mother's wrath and abuse.

I'm after my mother's counselling records now. I'm almost certain I won't be able to find any records of her therapy sessions with my dad prior to their divorce, but I know I will find family counselling records and can access them because I was there. I've read some of them. I'm going to get copies so I can re-read.

Fascinating shit.

UPDATE, November 2025
I have discovered our province requires psychologists, psychiatrists, counsellors, therapists keep documents for 10 years, after which they can be destroyed. As such, although I have read the records of our family "counselling," those documents no longer exist. I think I took notes at the time, but it was before cell phones (1986), so no photos of the pages. Obviously, any counselling records that might have existed in the late 60s are long gone. 

I went looking for other documents which would date from 1945 - 46, but the facility, the Ideal Maternity Home in Chester NS, where they would have been housed, or where they could have been acquired from, burned down. Nothing remained; no furniture, photos, or documents. 

Large family of people convicted of murder: no body recovered....

The Planet
March 2012

More than 15 million members of a family have been convicted of murder in a shocking trial lasting almost 2000 years, and 6 million family members sentenced to death for the murder have been killed in gas chambers and by lethal injection.

The charges were laid more than 350 years after the alleged murder by the First Council of Nicaea, led by several men, including the so called "St. Niclaus," who currently works as Santa Claus in north America, where the case is currently located.

Despite the prosecution having moved forward with the death penalty for so many of those charged, no body has ever been recovered and there there is no substantiated evidence the deceased person, a 33 year-old male, existed at all. There are no eye-witness reports of his existence and no testimony was provided by anyone who ever lived with, knew or saw - or even was alive - at the time the alleged deceased was said to have lived.

No member of the alleged deceased victim's family has ever appeared as a witness. In fact, no family members have ever been discovered by the defence or the prosecution. Description of the alleged victim - a blond, blue-eyed, pale-skinned male - are inconsistent with descriptions of alleged family-members, who are described as "middle-eastern" and "Jewish" people with dark skins and black or dark-brown, curly hair.

Several 'witnesses' for the plaintiffs have been shown to be frauds, and the testimony of others has been rejected because they were either not alive at the time of the alleged murder or, if they were alive, had no first-hand knowledge of the events either due to being infants or to having heard about the alleged events third-hand many years after the alleged events.

Corroborating evidence was presented by four men but was rejected, as the evidence is highly contradictory and lacking corroboration and substantiation by any other witness. Two of these witnesses do not report the alleged victim's birth and the two that do provided no substantiation, documentation or proof of any sort.

Beyond that, none of the four witnesses was a contemporary of the alleged deceased, each having lived long after the time of the alleged murder, respectively 65, 150, 220 and 350 years after the alleged murder.No record of birth has been discovered for the alleged victim or for any alleged family members - mother or father or siblings, despite the alleged existence of material - an alleged death-shroud - that might provide DNA.

In fact, the current owners of the shroud have refused to produce the item or to have it tested. The item was never entered into evidence and the source of potential evidence has, itself, been proven a fraud. Suggestions that the alleged victim is was not human so was able to "rise into the heavens" following the murder, have been proven impossible by biologists.

Certain disputed documents suggesting the alleged victim's mother was human and the father "supernatural" have also been disproved by biologists as the alleged victim was male. A 'human'  with only a female human parent would necessarily be female, the realities of biology and genes having been taken into account.

The alleged site of the murder has never been discovered and no eye-witnesses to the murder have ever come forward, nor did any of those reported to be present at the alleged scene, report or corroborate having been at the event. Experts say the total lack of corroboration by any of the several hundred witnesses alleged to have been present at the murder is strong evidence that the murder never happened and indeed the so-called victim did not exist.

Despite a complete lack of any evidence for the person in question or for the murder, and despite the passage of nearly 2000 years, more than 15 million people stand convicted still, for a murder, according to experts from around the globe, did not and could not have happened.

The prosecution in this case represents an equally-large number of plaintiffs who have categorically refused to accept there is utterly no evidence on which to proceed but who have, for nearly two centuries, refused to accept the facts and to withdraw their case and who continue to call for the deaths of the remaining charged family members.

Frustratingly, although there have been many competent judges sitting the case, and many, many experts have been called to testify, the prosecution refuses to accept admitted evidence, verified and corroborated historical documents, or the corroborated and substantiated evidence of mass fraud and has, on many occasions, fired and carried out death sentences against sitting judges.

In order to yet prolong the proceedings, the prosecution has developed a system of producing witnesses from the relatively new field of "apologetics," which was developed in the last century. None of the members of this field suggest they were present at the time of the alleged events, but they say, regardless, their role and goal is to rehash already-discounted 'evidence' until such time as the defence accepts it. The prosecution and its witnesses, the apologists, staunchly and loudly support life-long incarceration and after-life torture for all participants in the defence.

The case continues with no end in sight.