A Diary of Stupid Human Tricks. Commentary on everything from Joe Average to international politics.
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Friday, March 05, 2010
How dumb/lazy does one have to be?
Ok, seriously. How hard is it to make guacamole?
Answer? Unless you're dead (and even that might not be enough), it's dead (ahahah) easy.
I just read that a woman is suing Kraft Foods over their guacamole because she said it didn't taste 'avocadoey' enough. No surprise either: Kraft's guacamole only contains 2% avocados.
And by the way, if you think food labels tell the truth, you'd be surprised...
"Guac" is insanely easy to make.
Three large, ripe avocados
1 large, ripe tomato
1 ripe jalapeño pepper
1 -2 cloves of garlic (optional but delicious)
1 lime
salt and pepper
pinch of sugar.
Cut the avocados in half and extract the nuts; score the 'meat' by running a knife through it lengthwise and crossways (don't cut through the skin). By doing this, when you scoop the meat out, it will already be cut into small chunks.
With a soup spoon (those are the big spoons in your set, for those who don't know the names) scoop the meat out of each scored section.
SAVE one nut***
Wash the tomato and the jalapeño (with soap please; you don't know where the hands that touched it before yours have been or what they've been up to... yuck).
Cut both into small chunks. Most of the seeds will come out; save them and, if it's warm enough outside, chuck them into the garden. They will grow!
NOTE: unless you like REALLY hot guacamole, don't put the jalapeño seeds into the mix. Also, DON'T touch your eye, nose or mouth after touching that jalapeño. If you do, you'll know why I said don't.
Put all the chopped stuff into a bowl big enough that you can mash the contents without spillage.
Cut the lime in half and take out any seeds you can get at: squeeze the lime juice over the avocado/tomato (and then pick out any other seeds that fall out of the lime)
Add 1/2 tsp salt, some pepper and a pinch or two of sugar. The salt and sugar keep the avocado from going brown, as does the lime.
With a fork, mash everything together. Guacamole can be chunky or smooth, so do whatever you like.
If you're going to store this for a while, put the saved nut in the centre of the mixture and then tightly cover the bowl with either a lid or plastic wrap. The nut also retards browning.
If, however, you're not superhumanly full of willpower and you're going to get into this immediately, serve on toast, rice cakes, tortillas or pita. Guacamole is also delicious on hamburgers and with omelettes and eggs.
Now. After tasting the home-made kind, why on EARTH would you buy guacamole? C'mon....
My daughter speculates that the above-mentioned law suit may have been, in part, designed to expose a large 'food' manufacturer for what exactly is in that 'food.'
Despite what every fast-food/convenience-food ad would like you to believe, you really can make it yourself - for less money, with fewer chemicals and far less risk of ingesting a ton of "What's in that stuff?"
Next up? Pre-cooked, frozen potatoes ....
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