Sins of Omission!

Last night, Canada's most EXCELLENT band, 54-40, opened for the Stones in Calgary.

54.40 is Canada's premiere band. Their 25 year history of music making has contributed an extensive catalog of hits and their unmistakeable sound cannot be ignored.

Congratluations to the Stones on their perfect choice of 54.40 as stage-mates for this one and only stop in Calgary.

I'm assuming that the Stones' PR machine has a huge amount of influence over what gets to press when they do a show, so sadly, there was hardly a mention of 54-40 in the Calgary media, except for, and kudos to, The Calgary Herald's Swerve Magazine.

Ron Wood spent last Tuesday evening (October 25th 2005) hanging out at 54-40's gig at Banff's Wild Bill's Saloon. The man has obvious good taste in music.

Think you haven't heard of 54.40? Well, yes you have. Hootie and the Blowfish covered 54.40's hit, I Go Blind from 54.40's 1985 Green Album.

I Go Blind was played on the TV series, Friends, and was the most-played tune in the U.S. in 1997.

54.40's music has been all over radio for 25 years. You may not know the names, but you know the music. One Gun, She-La, One Day, Since When, Crossing A Canyon.... you know them and you love them. Look 'em up, have a listen and take pride.


Congratulations, 54.40. Awesome forever.

Assimilation and All That

I had a friend over tonight and, while reminiscing about days at the lake (our families camped together for 5 years), we got on to people moving to this country from exotic (read: not the UK or similar). Don't know how we got from camping to assimilation; freewheeling/steam of consciousness or something, I guess.

It is sad but hilarious how Canadians who don't travel -- and going to Vegas twice a year does not count as travel -- have such rude opinions of people who move here from abroad and how those people should assimilate right friggin' now.

So here's the question: Imagine you're the 45 year old man at left here. You have a wife and three youngish kids. You live in a politically volatile environment. You've worked really hard all your life and have managed to get a PhD, which, in your country, doesn't provide you with much beyond a lower middle class existence.

For your children, you scrimp, save and consciously choose to have no extras in order that you can someday move to another country where the opportunities are nearly unlimited and where your children can grow up free from war and the possibility of dying or being severely maimed. You learn the language of that country and after three or four year of navigating the immigration process, you move to a completely, utterly alien culture.

On arrival, you learn that in order to work in your field, the one you're very highly trained for and in which you have some 20 years experience, you must pass a rigorous exam, which requires another year of study and a relatively large application fee.

Add to this the stress of living among people whose dress, customs, religion, food, norms and mores are entirely unknown to you.

How fast could you assimilate? I'm thinking it would take a while, hmmm?

Add to all that, one of your physical characteristics marks you as an outsider and, for whatever reason, predisposes people to making all sorts of erroneous assumptions about you and causes them not only to be frightened of you but also suspicious.

You finally find solace in the small community of others who come from where you came, which, although it provides you some peace and respite from the strange, serves to further alienate you from the larger population.

Do you think it would be easy?

So here's my question: why is it that so many Canadians think that people who come to this country can somehow instantly turn off their own ingrained culture and suddenly become fully assimilated into Canadian culture (whatever that is)?

Could you do it? Could you pick up and move to Nairobi, say, and instantly become African? Instantly understand all the subtle points of culture? Instantly understand the African way of life, African manners, business? I think not.

So, next time you get into a cab with some guy with skin so black it looks purple or with a turban on his head, or with a thick Balkan accent, consider what that person has chosen to give up in order to provide a life for himself, and possibly his wife, children and maybe even his parents. Consider that he has probably worked for many years as a professional, only to come here and be forced to give up his profession for a year -- or sometimes forever. Consider actually talking to that person and finding out who they are and where they're from. Guaranteed you'll be surprised.

Canadians who bitch and moan about immigrants or who bitch and moan about living in this country should do us all a favour and go traveling to somewhere uncomfortable for two months. Go to where people emigrate from, sit yourself down there and contemplate just how difficult it would be to leave your life, your family -- everything you know -- permanently, for something possibly better.

And while you're at it, imagine living in a place where, at any instant, you child could be shot at or blown up on their way to school; where you might have to walk 10 miles to get your sick child to the doctor and where there may not be a doctor for three more days; where there is lots of disease but not a lot of treatment; where the government is beyond corrupt; where the religious establishment controls everything including how long you can grow your hair and how high off the ground your daughter can raise her eyes without risk of being stoned to death.

Then come back to Canada, sit down and think about how rich you are here. And think about how lucky you are to live here already and how bloody great it is that there is so much opportunity, so little risk of having your favourite cafe blown up, and how really quite funny our politicians are. I'm pretty sure there aren't any pictures of Saddam or Osama coming to a press conference in a wet suit...

The BIKE Paths

Um, ah, does the word "BIKE" in "Bike Path" not mean anything to people who walk?

Today, we were out biking on the BIKE paths, on a lovely, 20 degree fall day, when, what do we encounter but people walking -- three and four abreast -- on the BIKE path, oblivious to the WALKING path not five feet away.

Further on, we encountered a group of about 8 people spread out all over the path, walking their off-leash dogs and tossing balls down the surface of the BIKE path. Jase nearly took a dog out and would have seriously hurt it, and himself, had he not been able to brake in time.

The owner of said dog was rude and unrepentant (which I took as immense guilt) when I yelled at her to get her dog off the path and onto a leash. She called me some unpleasant name, so I yelled back that it was people like her who ruined things for everyone and that she was bloody irresponsible. I'm pretty sure, given her smug face, that she didn't agree but I'm also pretty sure she would have had a whole bunch to say had Jase actually hit her dog. She must have had an "I-get-to-ignore-the-NO DOGS sign-directly-to-my-left" card.

If it says BIKE path and there are signs with a red line through the image of a dog, it means the path is for bikes, not walkers or dogs.

I hope this clears things up.

"Street People"

Last night, on our way down 8th Ave SW in Calgary, a nicely dressed young man stopped us with "Excuse me, but could I ask you a favour? I just got off the bus from Dryden and someone stole my wallet."

Yah? Right! As friggin if!

ARRGGHGHGH What is UP with these people? Once the reserve of the truly desperate, this obviously well-fed person had resorted to the old "stolen wallet" saw that has been the domain of bonafide vagrants and street alcoholics.

I will admit I was less pleasant than I might have been, but man, I cannot imagine how a guy of that age cannot find work -- in this city, where nearly every business is begging and pleading for staff -- and would stoop to begging! Actually, given his really nice jumper, shirt and jeans, I'm pretty much sure he has, or recently had a decent job.

I'm sorry. I don't buy that story from the crazies who jump out from the bushes near Robson Street in Vancouver and I don't buy it on 8th Ave in my city either.

I am a meanie, perhaps, but I am also a single mother of three now-adults. The one and only time I ever asked anyone for money was when I asked my dad for a loan of $600, which was exactly equal to the amount I already had saved to buy a car. I paid him back in one month and yes, I had a child then.

I am aware that sometimes people legitimately fall on hard times, but I have no respect, nor will I ever have, for people who are quite able to find some type of work and access the myriad social services and support agencies in Calgary, but refuse to do so and opt for bugging me on the street.

If you're wondering if I've ever given money to someone on the street, the answer is yes. I gave to a young man -- about 16 years old - who had obvious needs, and I said he could have it if he promised to use it to eat. He said he would. Street kids, I can understand (because I know that for the most part, there is a lousy mom who has subjected her child(ren) to some creepy, abuser step 'dad', and/or has abandoned her child(ren) to a host of foster 'parents' and foster 'homes').

These others, who are, at best, grifters? Sorry, no, I don't give money and no, I won't develop respect.

GET a JOB.

Untruths in Fundraising

So, yesterday, The Calgary Herald ran a Canwest News Service article entitled "Cancer Epidemic Looms as Populace Ages, Say Experts."

Two things struck immediately struck me, upon which I shall elaborate. Keep in mind, I'm not researching dollar figures here, OK?

In Calgary last June, there was a sponsored walk that occurred over two days. The final figure raised was some $7 million. Between Calgary, Vancouver, Toronto and Montreal, there was some $37 Million raised. Go to "The Weekend to End Breast Cancer" for more info on the event. I'm all for it, in case you're wondering, but I think it is hyperbole to put the word "end" in the event title (and in the web address) ....

This kind of money - and more, and less - is raised nearly every day by organisations in north America, the UK and Europe, and has been raised for who knows how many years.

The people raising this money are, I believe, in a certain age demographic, being the 25 - 50 age group primarily, and the bulk of those in the 35 - 50 range or so.

In the Canwest article, there are these comments: "There will be a significant increase in the number of new cancer cases," and "[Cancer] will replace cardiovascular disease as the No. 1 killer in Canada." All this is supposed to happen in the next 5 - 10 years, so yah, you baby boomers, this means you and it probably means the eldest of your children (goodness, modern sacrificing of the first born?).

What sticks out is that the very people raising the money for a cure are of the same group most likely to be affected by the disease. That's the irony. So many people absolutely busting their butts to raise funds for something that will never occur.

Here's what really bugs me though; how is it that year over year, the dollar amount raised for cancer research and pursuit of cure increases dramatically but yet the incidence of cancer is increasing, at least according to this article, at such an alarming rate?

Contemplate this for a second: what if a cure for the major types of cancer - lung, breast, colon, prostate, stomach -- were found?

So many people would be out of work, but more significantly, there would be a huge, negative impact on big pharma's revenues. In short, there will never be a cure for cancer because that would cost far too much in terms of big pharma R&D, university research chairs, political clout, y'know, all that. And what would all those event planners do?

I will not dispute there have been significant advances in the treatments of some cancers; however, treatment and cure are NOT the same thing. Treatment means that big pharma gets to trial out a succession of somewhat effective drugs, which lulls people into believing that big pharma really does have the goal of a cure in mind. It ain't so, there Leroy.

It is far more lucrative for big pharma to keep up its"We're in a race against" face, when really, there is no intention at all of finding a cure. That would be like beating your horse to make it drag a heavy load up a hill and then shooting the horse upon reaching the top.

Where and how is all that money being spent and exactly how much money is being raised each year? Man, I would love to know that figure. I think it might equal the US expenditures on 'defense.' I think the truth of how cancer fundraising dollars are actually spent would make the escapades of our Mr. Dingwall look like the antics on amateur night.

The sad reality is that people with cancer are guinea pigs for big pharma, which preys upon the desperate. Many will die while pharmaceutical companies wade in billions raised by hopeful but duped believers.

On a related subject, "The Constant Gardener" with Ralph Feinnes and Rachel Weisz.

Emillie The Dancer, reprise

So, Emillie had a great weekend at the Irwin Feis in Calgary.

Saturday, she had five competitions. She won two firsts, a second and a third, which was a really decent showing for the first competition after the long summer break.

On Sunday, Em's big trophy competition took place. I think she was more nervous than she was telling me because, after she danced, she was all teary. This competition was pretty important to her, as winning it, which she did, gets her into the next level, Preliminaries.

Additionally though, getting into Prelims allows her to go to Vancouver and compete in the Oireachtas ("oriactus") where she can qualify for Nationals and also Worlds, which are held in Ireland.

She's pretty happy and we're quite proud.

Many thanks to our great teachers, Sally Houston, Kim Houston-Kinash and Kerry Houston of Ard Na Greine in Calgary for their love and dedication to all their students.

Illogical Statements

I would like to comment on two letters “Bitter” and “Zip it Up,” that appeared in the Calgary Herald on Tuesday, October 4^th. The link is www.calgaryherald.com. You'll have to cut/past to make it work.

The writer of “Bitter” implies that only teenaged girls produce babies afflicted with foetal alcohol syndrome or the related spectrum disorder. This is false. Sadly, mothers of FAS/FASD babies come from every part of society and from every child-bearing age group. To lay blame at the feet of teenaged girls is short-sighted and unfair. Such a belief allows people to ignore the realties of this preventable disability. It also allows those who fall outside that stereotype to continue hide behind their age, their status or their economic position.

On the issue of men commenting on abortion, “Zip it Up” includes the comment that men should keep their mouse caged. It is highly hypocritical for women to make strident claims for their reproductive rights, yet to continue to blame men for unplanned pregnancies.

If women are going to really and truly own their pro-choice stance, they must acknowledge and act on the truth that choice also includes doing everything necessary to not become pregnant if they don’t want to bear a child.

The median age for abortions (first and repeat) is 28. One would expect that, after a certain age, most women know what causes a pregnancy. This is absolutely an issue with an age demographic that knows better but doesn’t act.

Choice applies to both before and after the fact; however, choice applied before the fact will, in most cases, eliminate having to make a choice after the fact. A before-the-fact choice does little damage to a woman’s body and mind and certainly doesn’t leave another being dead.

The reality is this: women do have the right to manage their own reproduction and to have choices. However, women who do little or nothing to prevent a pregnancy have abdicated, plain and simple.

In a country where birth control information is free, legal and unlimited, and access to before-the-fact pregnancy prevention is available everywhere and to everyone, also often at no cost, there is no excuse for the majority of unplanned pregnancies. Far too many of those pregnancies result when women play Russian roulette with the bodies they claim to have dominion over. As such, placing blame anywhere else but on one’s own shoulders is simply wrong.

Women who ignore the extensive pregnancy prevention resources and choices available to them refuse responsible reproductive practice and reject responsibility for self.

Forks, Knives, Dirty Napkins and Where the Heck are your Manners?

This will be short.

When you're eating, your fork and knife, if you need to set either of them down, go across the edge of your plate.

Under NO circumstances should they hang off the edge of your plate like crazy legs.

The reason for this is that when someone comes by to remove your plate, if your fork and knife are properly posed, they will not fall into your lap when the plate is lifted up.

Secondly, properly positioned cutlery does not pose a dining danger for the people who might be sharing your table. Things left hanging are easy to accidentally hit. Imagine if your lovely dinner guest happens to knock your fork or knife onto her new, white, silk, Simon Chang trousers.

Elbows do not belong on tables until the meal is properly cleared. Your chest does not go on the table at any time.

Your napkin goes on your lap the instant you sit down.

Ask more questions than you answer. People like to talk about themselves. If two people in conversation remember these two things, the conversation will flow well and probably be very interesting.

Many people think that good maners are pompous and to be practiced by the well-to-do only. This is not the case.

Manners make you nicer to be around.

'Kay, I'm done.

What is UP with Women Shopping?

Ok, so Jase and I went to Winners today. Winners is one of those places where you can find fab stuff, but you have to have the time and the inclination to do it. Believe me, the rude, rude people who shop there (I think they're the same people who clog up the aisles at Costco and Safeway) drive me nuts and they really wreck the experience for everyone else. OK. They wreck it for me. I have manners. I pay attention to who is around me.

I wish I could get this blog into the rude people's actual hands 'cause I'm pretty sure most of them are just oblivious -- which does NOT excuse them. I am constantly amazed at how clued out so many people are!

First of all, the aisles are very narrow. You can't set your cart in the middle of the aisle. It isn't allowed because you're NOT alone in the store. This goes for Costco too! If you set your cart across the aisle, how are other people supposed to shop?? Set it off to the side! Have a brain!

Additionally, you can't take more than (used to be six) - ten items into the Winners dressing room, so you don't actually need the cart.

And the shoes! When these women try on shoes, why they don't put them back on the rack when they're done. They leave them, not only on the floor, but in the middle of the aisle! What is up with that? Do they think their mother works there and will pick up after them? I bet these are the same Stepford Wives who go home and scream at their kids for not picking up toys. Sheesh.

Why do people walk down the middle of a large aisle and then just stop. Right there. Blocks everyone else. In England, I think because there actually is signage in the Underground with "Stand to the Right" on it, people naturally walk to the right as well. It really helps with traffic flow. Why can't Canadians do that?

And why don't people know that it is highly rude to walk in front of someone!? Why don't people know that? Imagine this: you're standing 18 inches away from a rack of whatever and some idiot decides they must walk in front of you! Don't they notice? I REALLY don't get it! Walk behind. If that is not possible, say "Excuse me please," before you walk by. Otherwise you look like an OX.

Back to the carts: why do women (and some men) bring tired, grumpy kids/babies shopping? Seriously, shopping is next to solitary confinement for children. It is NOT fun for them, mostly because these same stepford wives who don't put things back or hang up things they drop, won't let their children touch a thing. Seriously, a two or three year old is not going to enjoy sitting in a cart for an hour; not only is the metal very uncomfortable to sit on, they're bored! Yelling at them doesn't help. They still don't like it and those mothers look like idiots. Get a sitter for an hour!

And don't let your kid chew on some package. People don't wash their hands much, so not only are you letting your kid gum something up, you're also letting them eat other people's fecal matter and residual urine. Nice hey? Like I said, get a sitter.

And add to that, for some reason, these people bring their kids out when the kids haven't had a nap or lunch. Kids need sleep and food. If you're shopping any time between 11:00 and 1:30 or around 4:30 in the afternoon, I guarantee you your kid will be screaming in about 15 minutes.

The other extreme is those weirdos who let their kids run wild in the store. First of all, they're little; people aren't on their guard for them and they're going to be hurt for sure. Kids need to be under control for their safety and everyone else's.

Secondly, it doesn't demonstrate these people's good parenting skills that they'd ignore their children when there are so many strangers about. It is possible, even in a nice place like
Winners, that someone in that group of shoppers is not shopping just for clothing!

It escapes me too why these frigging desperate housewives don't consider for one second that the screaming child they are ignoring is annoying the hell out of everyone else in the store. If your kid is screaming, tired and hungry, go HOME! Man, some people are so selfish! On-line shopping is made for these people....

A temper tantrum means you take your kid out of the store RIGHT NOW. Whatever you're buying will be there in 20 minutes. Don't let your kid get away with that crap and don't think nobody minds. Everybody minds. A LOT! Pick your kid up and leave. This is the ONLY instance when leaving a cart wherever is allowed. A screaming kid is far worse than a wayward cart in this case.

Besides, when people tolerate that crap from their kids, the kids are learning that if they yell and scream long enough, they'll get their way. Believe me, that is not a great habit to get into; it is really hard to break when it is your 15 year old having a tantrum when you set a curfew.

Here's a question: when a shopping stepford wife knocks something off a hanger, why doesn't she pick it up again? Like, does she wanna buy something that some other automaton dropped and left to collect store dirt? Not probably.

Lastly, perfume. STOP IT!!! Good grief. If you stink, take a shower. What is up with people. And why is it the more tackily dressed/over hair-coloured/whiskey-voiced/Tammy-Fay wannabes always wear too much perfume!? Believe me, we see you coming - right out of the 70s! Zellers is next door baby.

Here's how mannered people do perfume: they spray it into the air and walk through it. Really. Do NOT stand there spraying your whole body with scent -- because too much is not scent, it is STINK, and a very effective way to have everyone who gets within six feet of you calling you an idiot under their breath. Oh, and by the way, most men hate perfume, except for when it is barely noticeable. Less is more.

In my dreams, I get to hold shopping etiquette classes where I actually get to say all this stuff to a group of rapt stepford wives (yes, I know that's an oxymoron). I think, however, I will end up just spilling someday out of simple frustration. Man, I better not find out where they keep the PA in Winners. I might just have to use it!

Emillie the Dancer

Emillie:

So, my two other girls were highly miffed that I hadn't posted any photos of their stuff/accomplishments along with those of Alex's, and, as I promised to do so, I shall, starting with Miss Emillie, as we call her.

Em is the third of three daughters. She had a hard start -- the other two were pretty rough on her. Once, while they were all in the bath playing, the other two, being 2 and 5 and short on attention like most kids that age, decided to 'put the baby down,' meaning they decided they weren’t holding her anymore and just sort of dropped her into the water. They also used to like to draw on her with permanent markers and use her for their Fisher Price^™ inspired medical tests.

Emillie is highly athletic. At the ripe age of 18 months, she was already swinging upside down on our swing set’s trapeze. People used to comment on how muscled up she was, even then. Good genetics.

Em took up Irish dancing at about age 8. She originally danced with the Possak School in Calgary. At the time, my girls were in dance for the exercise and the social part of it, not to compete. Sadly, when the school abruptly changed their focus from "come one, come all," to mandatory competition, we were forced to leave, me being a single parent and not able to fund the cost of competition at all.

However, about a year later, Emillie joined Scoil Ard Na Griene, which is the longest-established Irish dance school in Calgary. It has produced, to my knowledge, 4 RiverDance dancers and a whole slew of Worlds and Nationals winners.

Joining the dance school was really serendipitous for Emillie. She'd had a rough go in elementary due to her being so talkative and social (read: not the type to put her head down, do rote work and never question authority. It isn't in her nature).

Em ultimately began competing with Ard Na Griene and has advanced quite quickly. There are a bunch of levels to go through: beginner, advanced beginner, novice, prize winner, preliminaries and open. She has a competition over the Thanksgiving weekend which will probably see her advance into preliminaries, which will also allow her to go to Vancouver and try to qualify for Nationals.

Last April, Jason, I, Alex and Emillie went for a combined holiday/competition tour to Montreal and Ottawa. There are two, back-to-Back Feis (pronounced 'fesh') down there.

In the months before we left, and on the very good advice of Emillie's instructor, Sally Houston, Emillie began designing her solo dress. Dancers typically have two dresses: a team or school dress, which they use for figures (group dances) and their solo dress, which they compete in otherwise.

Emillie’s design was a complicated graffiti pattern that I never thought could be made. However, I happened on Kim McCormack, who is both angel and wonderful designer. Her first reaction to Em’s design was “How cool. That’s going to look great.” Not impossible after all. With Kim’s extensive help and direction, the dress became a reality.

Em did really well in Montreal and Ottawa, coming away with 11 placements in the top three and four firsts in those, and a bunch of new friends to compliment her awards.

As of this September, Emillie has been volunteering with her school, teaching the little kids or the newer girls. She’s contemplating a career in sports medicine and so considering Kinesiology as a degree, but also beginning to look into what it will take for her to become a bona fide Irish dance teacher. Her mom is rooting for a three year stint with RiverDance.