Oh come ON!!!

I have nothing to say about this.

1000 words, all unsaid. I am speechless.



Are you Fxxking kidding me? Doesn't this woman have a mother - or anyone who cares about her - to tell her she looks like a complete, tacky idiot?

Arrggghghghgh. The US empire is crumbling. This is proof.

AntiAunti

It occured to me tonight, as I was watching inane TV shows that my life is a bit of an irony. Isn't everyone's?

I'm absolutely anti-marriage because I think marriage is social control/religious control/taxation base but it occured to me tonight that I feel a bit left out because I've never had a lovely, down-on-one-knee proposal and the two marriages I've ever been a bridesmaid at (both weddings of my sisters) ended quite badly. And I had to make my dresses - and theirs -for those weddings, so I never got to do the shopping for a wedding dress with the bride thing either.

hmmm. What a dilemma. If someone asked for my hand, so to speak, I'd probably rather give them the actual hand than the metaphorical article; and bridesmaid dresses are invariably ugly, unwearable and the subject of much ridicule, so really, who wants it - not to mention all the stress that goes into putting a wedding together.

I'll tell you a secret: nobody in my family knows whether my partner and I are married or not. We've been asked a hundred times and in all manner of ways but we've chosen to not reveal the true state of affairs. Why? Well, a bunch of reasons.

My mom is a Christian, which, in theory, isn't a bad thing but in practice? Let's just say the dogma gets in the way of real, deep relationships. When my partner and I first met, there was a lot of resistance to the relationship, most of which was due to our age difference. That was an issue, but not as much as the fact that we had the full-meal-deal relationship, without benefit of clergy, which, for her, was just so sinful (she doesn't seem to be bothered by the reams and reams of children being raped by family members every day or that a child somewhere in the world dies from starvation every two minutes. Pre-marital sex? Man, that's top of the heap!)

About four years into the relationship, my partner and I went to Vegas for four days. My youngest daughter made a big joke out of telling everyone my partner and I had been married by a fake Elvis (her presumption). Her joke ended up being our saving grace: see, after that, my family members weren't sure what had actually happened anymore. Oh, and we went back to Vegas the next year. And we made a lot of noise about the drive-through wedding chappel on Vegas Blvd. heading to old Vegas: The Michal Jordan, Joan Collins Drive-thru wedding chappel. How quaint. I bet all their marriages last!

We've never answered one way or the other whether we did or didn't, and we never will.

Now, for all you parents out there, here's how to get your children to never tell you anything: nag, bug, harrass and put down because your dogma is right and theirs is flawed. After a while, you'll be in a position of not knowing what's going on and having no way to find out. Yah. You win. My mother cannot say one word about my and my partner's relationship - any of it, including the physical part - because she doesn't know if we've married or not! Perfect. Works like a damn.

Our decision to remain mum on the question has also quite stopped the nasty age-related slagging, because you can't slag someone's spouse -if that person is indeed the spouse - which is also a benefit.

Here's the drill: a marriage is a commitment between two people and requires a total of two other people and an official to make it official. There is no rule that says you must spend a zillion dollars, stress yourself out and put a year's planning into a one day event to make it legit.

LOADS of people marry in order to have the dress, the cake, the ceremony, the adulation and the tiara, and then wake up the next day going "Holy crap, what did I do?"

Ten years on, we're every bit as commited to each other as the first night we met (that's a whole 'nother blog).

If I could can what we have and how we do it, I would. I could make a billion dollars selling it, but I wouldn't 'cause it's just too precious.

Flying

This is a "HOW NOT TO FLY" lesson for the sad legions of people who haven't a clue how to behave on an airplane.

Boarding
Here's the reality with the airplane: it has one entrance, which also acts as an exit. It is entrance when you are departing and exit when you've arrived at your destination. So, running to line up and making sure you're the first to be checked through serves not a ton of purpose. Get up when your row is called, proceed forward and PLEASE, like they ask, have your ID ready.

Now, as you board the aircraft, you'll notice that there are lots and lots of people behind you, also waiting to board. If you stand in the aisle trying to wrangle your carry on into the overhead, you're holding up everyone behind you. Step into the seating area and let some people pass. When there's a break in the lineup, then stuff your carry on into the overhead. You're not alone, in case you didn't notice.

On second thought, what exactly do you need to carry on? A bit of cash, the novel you're reading and a magazine or two. You do NOT need that hideous straw hat or the three bags of crap you're dragging on board. I travel with one large suitcase (in which I leave extra room) and one small suitcase that is usually mostly empty. They go in the aircraft's hold.

I take on smallish bag which has my wallet, my book, a couple of magazines, my headphones and sometimes a very light, fleece blanket on board. All go below the seat in front of me. No muss, no fuss and no fumbling in the overheads or seat pockets. I often pack my coat because really, I don't need it in a climate controlled airplane. I am perfect!

Sitting and Rising
As you lower yourself into your seat, keep in mind that when you use the seat in front as leverage, you will causing the person in that seat to suffer the springboard like effects of the seat back hitting their head when you let it go. On my last flight from Gatwick to Calgary, which is a 9 hour flight coming this way, the 'lady' behind me got out of and back into her seat, using mine as leverage, no fewer than 22 times. That means that I couldn't sleep because she was up and down twice every 40 minutes. She did not respond to my very pointed looks as I rolled myself around my seat to stare at her each time she did this. OK. I'm passive aggressive. I should have said something.

Seat Pockets
Every time you go fishing in that seat pocket in front of you, you are essentially in direct contact with the back of the person seated in front of you. Don't yank the pocket open and allow it to slam shut, PLEASE! Books and water bottles feel like books and water bottles when they hit you in the spine!

Said 'lady' on my flight seemed to have stashed a ton of stuff into that seat pocket, as she was in there about every 1/2 hour further precluding any nodding off on my part.

Finally, watch your feet and knees. Every time your knees, head or feet contact the seat in front of you, you're bashing the occupant of that seat, usually in the kidneys.

About Talking.
I'm inclined to say that passengers should just shut bloody up but that's not realistic. So, if you must talk, first make sure the person you're speaking to is interested and please also make sure to notice when they're ready to stop. On a flight from Toronto to Calgary once, I had a seat kicker behind me. Man, I was so ready to kill that guy, who also didn't respond to dirty looks, but finally decided to move to another seat. Sadly, I got myself beside a 'lady' who was unaware that when a person's eyes are closed, they're asleep. She actually poked me to have me stay in a conversation I was SO not interested in.

Also, the only person who is interested in what you have to say - especially when you're traveling alone - is yourself. Do not speak so loudly that everyone in the vicinity can hear you. I guarantee you, if you're trying to make yourself heard or you're not paying attention to the volume of your voice, you are, without doubt, uttering inanities that nobody wants to participate in.

Movies and Music
Speaking of loud, don't turn up your headset so loud that the person next to you can hear whichever radio station or film you're watching. You're not alone or particularly special so don't presume to impose yourself or your choice of entertainment on your fellow travelers.

Going to the Potty
Ok, so again on my Gatwick flight, the couple beside me in middle and window seats, waited until I'd been asleep for about 10 minutes before they decided they needed the loo. So here's the unofficial rule: most people head for the biffy right after a meal is served. Such is the safest route unless you're in the aisle seat. If you're one of those people who can't manage 3 or four hours without a potty break, take the aisle seat and DON'T grab the seat in front of you when you get up or down. That's what the arm rests are for.

The rest of this goes without saying: if you're fat, people are not going to want to sit with you because you're already spilling over onto their space. You may as well be sitting in a stranger's lap. If you don't practice some common courtesy - like keeping your elbows inside the arm rests, you're going to have some unhappy co-travelers. Whenever possible, see if you can take a seat where, in rows of 3, 4 or 5, there is a seat between you an the next passenger.

Do NOT fart or burp. Subjecting your fellow prisoners to your disgusting manners is not allowed.

BABIES
Ok, they have to come along usually. I have three children, all of whom I've traveled with since they were infants, so I'm not an idiot about this. If you're on a long flight, your kid will start crying at three specific points: at takeoff, at landing and as soon as they're tired and can't lay down in their own bed.

In the first two cases, you must remain seated and belted in, so give your child something to suck on. If they're little, a bottle full of water is the best thing, as it helps them clear their ears, which, due to pressure, usually hurt like crazy for about 15 minutes at takeoff/landing. If your child is of an age where they're unlikely to choke, give them some gum (and don't give me any crap about not giving your kid sugar! There is sugar free and seriously folks, this is not the time to get all health food on your co-passengers!). Gum stimulates the production of saliva, which the child has to swallow, which helps them clear their ears.

The other scenario, when your child is exhausted from a long flight and the inability to lay down, needs so specific action. Do NOT subject the people around you to your screaming child. Get up, take the child to the loo, shut the door and stay in there until the child calms down or falls asleep.

There is NO excuse for making your fellow travelers suffer through the screams of your child, nor is there for trying to make your exhausted child sit when they cannot any more. They need quiet and comfort and the loo is perfectly suited for both. Kids up to about 10 years old have an attention span of maybe 15 minutes. A 9 hour fight doesn't fit that bill.

Arrival
There is only one way out. Everyone has to leave. Your checked baggage will arrive on the carousel at least 5 minutes and usually closer to 15 minutes after you depart the aircraft. Therefore, it is not necessary for you to hold up everyone behind you whilst you again tackle your overhead baggage in order to make it out of the airplane first. If you can't easily get your bags out or if you have several, WAIT until the aircraft is cleared out or until there is a break in the lineup.

Alternatively, near the end of the flight you can take your baggage down and stash it under the seat in front of you. This way, when you stand, you can quickly slide your bags out and easily get off the flight.

Especially for those at the front of the aircraft, there is no excuse for making everyone else wait. I cannot stand people who hold everyone else up so they make a mad dash for the exit only to stand around with everyone else, waiting for their other baggage to arrive at the carousel.

I wish so much that I could make a short speech in the pre-boarding waiting area about these points, but alas....

More rants coming.... Did anyone see the great piece on CBS last night about the huge market for counterfeit drugs in the US? Oh man, don't get me started on how people can't mange their lives without a pill for every little thing..... And for the record, so-called Erectile Disfunction is almost always related to being fat, being unhealthy or having a very unattractive, unwashed spouse. Boys, Big Pharma had medicalised your willy! Speak up!

More on Scotland

Just wanted to quickly add some information about Scotland - getting there and where to stay when you're there.

Getting there is most easily done by flying either direct to London or Glasgow. Glasgow flights tend to be cheaper for some reason, at least from where I'm at. I use Canadian Affair for flights out of Canada because their flights are WAY less costly than through Air Canada. Alternatively, I use www.flyzoom.com.

As an airport, Gatwick, is my preference due to the excellent connections to everywhere else in Britain and Europe.

At Glasgow, you have the option of taking the bus to Inverness, a lovely and a reasonably short trip.

If you do fly to Gatwick, as you will have just arrived from a 9 hour flight, stay over in Gatwick (the town) for a night at a B&B. More about B&Bs in a sec. If you're gung ho to get out of there, you can fly between certain points on various regional airlines or you can take the train. Sometimes there a big wait between. The trains in the UK are wonderful. Easy to navigate, comfortable and generally go from downtown to downtown. In other words, they get you right into the action, door to door.

Otherwise, If you like to see the countryside and don't mind driving, take the bus. From London to Inverness, the trip can be anywhere between 10 and 12 hours BUT it can be really cheap to travel that way. Look at MegaBus as a means of getting around. One can get trips - long trips - for as little as 1 pound Sterling by booking early.

Alternatively, you can fly EasyJet, which goes nearly everywhere in the UK and Europe. They have unbelievably great rates, again if you book early and can be flexible on your travel days. My return flight from London to Inverness was 73 pounds Sterling return, tax in. That's about $140 in Canadian/US money.

B&Bs are the best places to stay in smaller places like Inverness (close to Loch ness) or Nairn . Even in the cities, B&B is always much less expensive than hotel , as for where to stay, you can choose a hotel, but why??? B&B is the way to go, especially in the far more personable and hospitable. As you're staying in someone's home, you can be sure that the hosts will be able to tell you all sorts of stories and stuff about the place you're visiting.

In Inverness, stay at Atholdene House on Southside Road. It is a 5 minute walk into the downtown and located on a lovely, tree-lined street. My friend, Penelope, and her husband, Fred, are WONDERFUL hosts. I cannot imagine staying anywhere else in Inverness. Perfect location and holy cow big breakfasts, all for the tiny price of 25 - 30 Sterling a night.

There are MANY B&Bs in Inverness as there are in all places in Britain. Check out the Scottish B&B Association for more. Most can be booked on line.

For stuff to do in Scotland, it is unlimited. In Inverness, for instance, there are great pubs and restaurants and wonderful places to walk to. You can walk a mile or 70 miles if you want a huge trip. There's a walk from Inverness to Fort William along the Great Glen.

You can go it on your own (you won't be alone; it is a very popular walk) or you can go on a guided tour with people to transport your gear. You stay in B&Bs along the way and eat in pubs at night. It is a totally great way to see the most prominent geographical features of the highlands.

Inverness and cities/towns of its size are really easy to get around. It is worth just setting out and seeing where you end up. You cannot become lost; there are too many people around to ask and most are more than happy to give you directions. Take advantage of Scottish hospitality as there will very probably be a great pint or a dram of "The water of life" involved.

Other stuff to do includes trips to Skye, which is an island off the coast, west of Fort William, or all the other islands to the north and north west. There are castles galore around, may within a short drive. If you're a fan of the Scottish Play (and if you are, you'll know why I just called it that), go to Cawdor Castle, which is on the way to Nairn, 9 miles along the A9 from Inverness.

I'm really big on travel anyway because no schooling or geography classes are ever going to be as real as the real thing, but also because, with Scotland anyway, it is just a great way to decompress and find some peace.

Scotland the Brave

I’m Back!

Well, that went by quickly! Twelve days (ok two for travel) to Scotland. Whilst there, it felt like I’d been gone forever, as it is so different from Canada there – to a point. I’ve been trying to maintain my mental connection but the attachment is slowly fading as my jetlag decreases.

Ah well.

I went to visit my daughter, who works as an au pair, a job she found via Great Au Pair an on-line nanny search.

I got to Scotland via Canadian Affair and EasyJet, which was easy and cheap. I could have got there less expensively too, had I known about MegaBus and had I flown to Glasgow or Edinburgh and bused it to Inverness…. Next time. I think I might have saved about $250 had I done it that way and I wouldn’t have had to spend 5 hours waiting at Gatwick Airport

Inverness is about 13 miles from Loch Ness, about 3.5 hours by bus to Edinburgh and about the same to Glasgow. Inverness is the newest city in the Highlands, an honour that was conferred in 2000 to commemorate the millennium.

We visited these places:
Fort William, Culloden, Clava Cairns, Port Agustus, Drumnadrochit, Inverlochy Castle, Urquhart Castle, Edinburgh, Clachnaharry, Ness Islands, Pringle Woolen Mills, Blackfriar’s Pub, Hootenany’s, The Gellions, and Abstract (a really high-end restaurant where we didn’t eat but where we did have lovely Martini cocktails and nasty coffee... sorry Barry).

Anyway, here are a bunch of photos and sorry for the formatting. Not sure if it’s me or Blogger but….

A medieval Bridge on the A82 on the way from Inverness to Fort William. Very pretty.

Gorse at Culloden. Grows everywhere. There's another related plant that people call Bush, which is a brilliant yellow-orange and grows everywhere in the Highlands - next to dafodils, which are also absolutely everywhere in springtime. My theory is that the dafodils are a natural representation of the many fallen clansmen and clanswomen who died protecting their birthright from English invasion.



Alex at Clava Cairns. These are the Stones called Craig na Dun from the Outlander series. Craig na Dun means Rock on the Hill I think.



Somewhere on the road to Inverness



Ben Nevis, the highest peak in the UK

Anesthetic

Wow.... I cannot believe some of the stuff people say on Blogger....

You'd fire someone from expressing their freedom of speech?

So, only USians who are white and speak english are allowed the full benefit of rights?

Man, it is no wonder most of the world things USians are a bunch of backwards, racist, uneducated, bellybutton-gazing louts.

Thank god for Canada, its moderation and its non-melting pot mentality.

Canada rocks.

Oh. About the "USian" thing. Canada and the US make up north America. As such, it is incorrect to call USians Americans because such terminology serves to lump us all together and we - non-USians- in no way want to share that category.

More on Work

I have a degree! It’s a replacement for an actual personality

I got a great comment yesterday from an astute reader, following my post on the job situation in my city and wage discrepancies and all that.

I have lots of schooling but, frankly, the stuff that has made me successful (and that’s a matter of some discussion, depending on who you’re talking about me to…) isn’t the book learning I have, but the social skills, need to read, and my obsession with connecting people to resources they need to get forward.

My reader, Wendylicious (who is young, for the record), reinforced my dislike of focus on credentials over ability and experience. Her key points, with which I greatly agree, are that some things are much more important in terms of success than others: things like “…brains, guts, and the willingness to work hard to get ahead…,” extensive reading; pursuing personal interests; a desire to continually self-improve; a willingness to take a job that will provide lots of forward and upward mobility, even though that job might be entry-level.

My reader is likely one of those people who would be bored out of their minds in college, not because they’re not smart or able, but because they have an innate knowledge – they extrapolate from their experiences and use what they learn - and college courses are sometimes pretty much reiteration of things such people just know. Extrapolation means creating a tangent line at the end of the known data and extending it beyond that limit.

What differentiates such people, and I count myself in this group, is that they pay attention to what’s going on around them. They read the paper; they read blogs; they watch the news (and they know Entertainment Tonight is not news); they talk to people, and more importantly, they listen to what people are saying; then, they take this mass of information and apply it to life and work. They don’t ascribe to “That’s just how it is.”

These people remember other people’s names, what those people do, what they like and dislike and WHY; they’re interested in the world they live in. Essentially, they are observers and they’re connected to life on a cellular level. And all this ability, as un-school-learned as it may be, can be a massive benefit to a business or employer. Pick any one of those qualities and apply the requirements of a job to it....

Imagine now, that you have an employee with a great degree but few to none of the above qualities....

And, not to digress (ok, I digress), exactly how many classes did said degree-holder attend and what was their GPA? A person can get a degree without having attended class and with a GPA of 1.8.

What’s sad is that we still live in a culture that celebrates and chases credentials. As my reader points out, an education got from books isn’t everything; lots of educated people are idiots with degrees (that part is me, not my reader, speaking).

I am a huge supporter of education in whatever form it comes in. There are professions that require a person to go to university for sure; I wouldn’t want to be treated by an unschooled doctor or represented by an unaccredited lawyer, for example, BUT I know a few people who aren’t lawyers but who have an excellent grasp of law and legal issues because they’re fascinated with law. And therein lies the key.

If employers would please quit focusing on the paper a potential employee comes with and would hire people on their ability, their interest, their experiences and their determination (and if that person comes with a degree, all the better), most businesses would find they are much more productive and that their employees would stick around longer, because they’re actually interested in the job, not just coming to work so they can afford to live.

Anyone can be taught but attitude, guts, goals and go-get are born.

Thanks Wendy.

WriterWriter

Sing it!

But Mr. Bush, you don’t speak English!

Reprinted from The Globe and Mail
www.globeandmail.com

One-language anthem
What is the US President talking about now???

So, you’re only a citizen of the US if you speak English? The national soul is only English? So what does that mean for MILLIONS of US CITIZENS who were born on US soil or who are naturalised or who have chosen to come to “The Land of The Free?”

What about all those Cajuns who left, persecuted, and came to the Carolinas? Those would be the Acadians - from the maritime region of Canada - who were FRENCH speaking Catholics.

What about all those people who were stolen from Africa and brought to America (thank you, Bob Marley) and who certainly didn't speak English but who certainly became and are now citizens?

What about all the people who come from Korea, China, Japan, Philipines, who are citizens but whose first language is not English? Should they leave?

When are the citizens of the US going to stand up and silence the village idiot that is their President?

Newsflash, Mr. Bush: the US national soul is made up firstly of people who were there long before English speakers were – first nations people. After that, people who came from every corner of the earth – places where people have occasionally never heard English being spoken.

A country's national anthem should at least be sung in the official languages spoken in a given country. In Canada, our anthem is sung in English, French and CREE, all of which are official languages (OK, Cree doesn't have the respect it deserves, but it is one of Canada's major languages regardless).

The US has two official Languages; English and Spanish.

Get on board Mr. President.

Here’s the reprint from the Globe and Mail:
JOHN CHUCKMAN

Hamilton, Ont. -- Re National Anthem Best Sung In English, Bush Declares (April 29):
"One of the important things here is that we not lose our national soul," George Bush said in reacting to a Spanish version of the American national anthem, Nuestro Himno (Our Anthem), which was played on U.S. Hispanic radio and TV stations recently.

…. President Bush reacted with: "I think the national anthem ought to be sung in English, and I think people who want to be a citizen of this country ought to learn English and they ought to learn to sing the national anthem in English."

Canada's anthem has two official versions, French and English, and were a group of immigrants to offer it in Ukrainian or Mandarin, most Canadians would be tickled.

Xenophobia in a land of immigrants should have no place."

Working for it.

There have been some really interesting radio programs on today -- CBC -- about the state of working in Alberta and in Canada.

Lots of conversation about lack of skilled workers and such.

What was missing, at least from the hour I listened to, was a discussion of wages.

As a comparative, my eldest will graduate from her degree in one month. She has spent the last 3 years pursuing her degree and, at the same time, for the last year and a bit, working for a large industrial design firm here. It is a practicum so one cannot expect full time, regular employee wages; however, she makes all of $1 more per hour than do employees of Tim Horton's Donuts, who make $10 per hour at present.

Last Friday night, she was out scrounging for fast food and stopped at Chicken on the Way, where she noticed a Help Wanted sign in the window. Wage? $14 per hour for slinging hash.

So here's my question: why do employers moan and carry on about how hard it is to find employees when there is this huge disconnect between what educated, skilled people make and what Joe Buddy makes at a greasy spoon?

In my five or so years in banking, I met loads of people who not only had a BA in finance, they'd added the Canadian Securities Course to their credentials, meaning they'd spent at least the last five years in full-time school - following 12 in the regular school system. Entry level wages in banks range from $25,000 to $39,000 on a good day. Yet, a person with a 10th grade education can walk into Chicken on the Way and start making $27,000 a year working full time with no education at all.

When my daughter graduates from her degree and becomes full-time staff at the huge, wealthy industrial design firm, she will make $18 per hour, for a grand annual total of $35,000 annual, which is $7700 more than the greasy spoon job but which extra will go to taxes. In effect, she will make as much as she would were she to work at the greasy spoon.

So for all you employers out there, heads up. People don't have loyalty to any company that doesn't respect them. Money isn't everything by any means, but it is a large part of the package.

Crap wages, disrespect for substantial years of education and an unwillingness to do everything to gain, keep and nurture employees are foundational ways to destabilize any business. In the current booming, growing, scortching hot economy, those habits are deadly.