Thursday, May 29, 2008

People in the US Now Being Taught to be Terrified of Scarves!

In the latest episode of "How to Terrify and Subjugate the US Citizenry," Rachael Ray, the talk-show host, cookbook author and magazine editor, is being cast as a terrorist sympathizer because of a flowered scarf.

Dunkin' Donuts, for whom Ray is a spokesperson, is worried that its customers might think she is an "Arab Sypmathiser" so abruptly yanked an ad in which she wears a scarf that some genius says resembles a keffiyeh -- a traditional headdress worn by Arab men -- because conservative commentators became enraged by the ad and even threatened to boycott the company.

What? Fer god's sake, let 'em boycott! 60% of the population in the US is overweight and a huge (no pun intended) proportion of those are obese. let 'em boycott. It's better for their health! It might also improve their intelligence, which they're obviously without.

This is the dumbest thing ever. Seriously. Flowered paisley equals a Keffiya? I'm swearing in my head right now....

Remember about 10 years or so ago people stared wearing their underpants above their jeans and shortly people stopped being shocked at the site of underpants? Yeah. It's a scarf people. Get over it.

Those of us outside the US are laughing our butts off at how ridiculously afraid people in the US are of everything. They're like terrified little lemmings, starting at the smallest shadows, skittering off to grab their guns at the tinyest noise, sacrificing their children to fight the 'terrorists' thanks to endless lies!

Do USians not understand that their government has a plan to keep them poorly fed on cheap, crappy food, under educated and terrified of essentially nothing? Fat, stupid, terrified people are always ready and willing to defend themselves. It's just that, in this case, the terror is made up, manipulated and making a select few quite rich.

Good grief. In a country where everyone owns guns, where a person can get one with a car purchase or a bank account and where state administrators - or Hilary Clinton (AKA Annie Oakly) pose with guns for photos, I'd be far more terrified of my neighbour having a bad day and going all Yosemite Sam on me than of these nebulous 'terrorists.'

The terrorists are living in the White House and they're called Rice, Bush and Cheney, among a few. Good lord. USians are seriously nuts if they're worried about a flowered scarf worn by a mediocre cook promoting what can only be termed 'killer food.'

Even a recent Press Secretary has had it with the bullshit that pours out of the White House. Scott McClellan's new book, "What Happened," basically states that life in the US is pretty much based on a huge pack of lies. He's not very popular right now.

The border between us and the US is soooooo not big enough. Please will USians please build a dome over their country to protect the rest of us from such idiocy.

Speaking of idiocy, watch Idiocracy (Luke Wilson) to see how this story is going to play out. The entire film here on YouTube. Also via those lovely torrent sites everywhere.

1 comment:

  1. Hey, THANK YOU, man!
    I have immigrated to the US a while ago, and that 'fear of everything' was one of the biggest differrences that I have noticed. This truly is the nation of anxiety. They are not allowed so many things, everyone is so afraid to break the rules. Parks close at sunset... Leave or you will be arrested... You are right, they are taught to be afraid, I always thought that was some sort of conspiracy. I mean, it is on the news, in commercials. Ads like Lysol hand and surface sanitizers teach them to be afraid of common bacteria. And then, kids get sick all the time. Of course, what kind of immunity is that kid going to build up in a sterile house? Or, for a while, they had something like a Mono vaccine advertised, pitched from this angle that your kids kiss, you just cannot control that, and they will get mono, unless you get them vaccinized. Fear is a very effective tool of control and business, apparently.

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