Sunday, November 20, 2005

Why Women's Libidos Decrease

On November 15th, the Calgary Herald published an article by Corky Siemaszko of the New York Daily News about a new drug to treat so-called 'desire disorders' in women (and men).

I have news for the developers of this drug. Women don't have desire disorders. They have FAT, bald, ugly, uneducated spouses/partners disorder. THAT's what the problem is.

Believe me, no woman has a desire disorder when there is a young, studly, smart man available and willing.

Want proof? Put a photo of Brad Pitt, Sean Connery, Denzel Washington (insert, healthy hunk here) and pretty much every woman will have NO desire problems at all.

Give her a photo of her fat, smelly, uninvolved, boring spouse/partner and yah, she's going to have desire problems.

See, the thing with too many men is that they are so clued out. They think they can look, smell, behave however they want -- usually badly -- but still have the right to expect whatever they deem perfection from their woman. Such accounts for the plethora of skin mags (and yeah, Cosmo and the like are included in that bunch) targeted to men, regardless of supposedly being marketed to women.

There isn't a woman in the world (ok, straight women) who, given a gorgeous, hardbody babe, with delicious skin, lovely hair, brushed teeth, a cultivated mind and a willingness to do her bidding in bed that would have the least problem with desire (I'm assuming here that said women would dispense with any ridiculous religious strictures that might otherwise unnecessarily impede their desire -- no drug is going to cure that irrationality).

For men whose women are having so-called desire problems, try this before you resort to taking drugs yourself or administering drugs to your partner:
  • lose 60 lbs. Your gut and your rolls are disgusting.
  • Brush your teeth twice a day, not twice a week, and lay off the onion sandwiches.
  • Do not burp or fart in front of your spouse/partner. It is NOT sexy. It is disgusting.
  • Get a decent haircut. If you are combing over, STOP IT! You look like an IDIOT.
  • Cut that mullet. It is not cool; you look like a 70s left-over.
  • You do NOT know everything. You're only fooling yourself. You SOUND like and idiot.
  • Learn the difference between intimacy and sex. Sex you can do by yourself. Intimacy requires a partner
  • Get a frigging LIFE. Yes, football and hockey are fun but they are not LIFE. They are entertainment.
If you're unwilling or unable to follow the above RULES, then suck it up pal: your woman should and occasionally will go find some lovely hunk to get it on with and NO, she won't have ANY problem doing it. For HOURS.

As for drugs to 'cure' desire disorders, people, you're being duped for millions and millions of your hard-earned dollars. Especially those of you in the US, where Big Pharma has medicalised pretty much everything, you're being sucked dry.

Don't be stupid. Not being turned on by your fat, stupid, yucky partner has more to do with their lack of education and their dependence on far too much fast food -- far too much of any food -- than it does with a disorder.

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